It’s always extremely helpful to know where someone is coming from when trying to understand them. That’s why I usually present my arguments in the form of personal experiences. I hope this page will give you a better grasp about me, though I can’t reveal too much without giving away my identity.
I’m a 21 year old male student at a small liberal arts college. I grew up on a small family farm in a place where not many farms still exist due to development. As a child I was heavily introverted, though I did have friends and I was always pretty active in class discussions. I was also a bit overweight, and quite a late bloomer (the only guy without leg hair in freshman gym class). In high school I dedicated myself to turning my state around on itself. I realized that introversion was a beautiful state of existence, and it allowed me to pick up on certain social cues that extroverts glance over in their excitement, but I saw that the reality of the world was that introversion was not that acceptable. Extroverts were the ones who got ahead, who could take control. I also decided to lose weight, and did so quite drastically in my freshman year. by senior year I was the same weight as when I entered highschool, but quite a bit taller and leaner.
My journey to extroversion was harder than weight loss. I had to look at extroverts and copy their actions and attitudes. for years I pretended to be confident in myself and my social interactions, until eventually I felt it and was able to slip into an extroverted mindset pretty easily. In my extroverted state I could see the power I could have in social situations, but I also noticed that I became less attentive toward subtle social clues, and sometimes misjudged people’s opinions of me. I can be both introverted and extroverted (though I don’t have to try hard to be introverted), and I think that having both of these outlooks have been very beneficial to me.
I have strong liberal leanings. I really feel that the biggest priority for the world is lifting our masses from poverty. I love libertarianism except for the radical indifference to the suffering of millions that libertarians exhibit. I acknowledge that I’m pretty indifferent myself, as I use hundreds of thousands of dollars to educate myself which could be feeding a large amount of starving children, but I do believe I need this education to reach a point where I can maximize my benefit to humanity. In the end I realize this is only a rationalization, and every cent we live by above our basic needs is stolen from the poor of the world.
I am a very honest person, and I have been clear about my drug use to my family (as I’ve mentioned on the psychedelic page). I think that truth can hurt, but in the end it is the only way to our salvation. I pursue truth to the extent that I become unhappy, trusting that it needs to be done for me to find a true state of well-being.
I’ve written about my beliefs in God a bit before, and I encourage you to see my post on my current view of God. I grew up with absolutely no religious guidance, in a house neither theist, atheist, or agnostic. as such I developed an agnostic belief early on, as many of my friends did as well. in high school I became somewhat unsatisfied with this view, and I read Varieties of Scientific Experience, a compilation of lectures by Carl Sagan, and The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. Oddly enough, it was Carl Sagan’s book that turned me to atheism, though Dawkins certainly solidified it. My conversion to atheism opened up a world of spirituality within me, just as my new belief in God has.
I am rich and white. Most people in my economic position would call themselves middle class, I usually say “upper-middle class,” but the truth is I’m rich, and really so is everyone who doesn’t need to think about how to feed and shelter themselves. We are all so insecure that we always think that the people above us are the rich ones, the ones doing harm to the lower classes, but really we’re rich.
I have struggled throughout my life with pretense and high self esteem. I belong to a noticeably smart family, and reconciling this fact with the world is a problem. Having an attitude of superiority is very harmful to social interactions, but as I witness myself talk circles around others and outperform my peers in so many ways it’s hard for me to believe that I’m not exceptional. I fully realize the potential in all human beings, and I think that part of my duty as an individual with such firm grounding is to uplift those around me. People have accused me of arrogance, to which I have replied (mostly in jest) “there are some people in this world who are better at doing certain things than other people. If they realize this, they may be arrogant, but they are also right.”
This pretty well sums me up, though I’m sure you could discover much more about me by reading the rest of the blog.